Friday, 13 February 2015
Reflections on Valentine's Day
Friday, 13 February 2015
Confession: this is the first time in 5 years that I have been single on Valentine's Day.
That is indeed a very long time, but then again, I am seriously the textbook definition for a serial monogamist - I have been in and out of relationships since I was 16! I'm not bragging when I say this, it's simply a fact of my life, and one which I would honestly prefer to live without. Of course, there have brief moments of singlehood, but there were always guys whom I would be interested in during those periods of time. It seemed that when I was younger, I was always chasing romance like the protagonists in the novels I'd read.
I had to learn the hard way that life is not like a chick lit novel. I've always been impulsive in getting into relationships, swayed by my feelings instead of thinking things through, and that has led to unhappy consequences for all the parties involved. My friends have even adopted the phrase, 'Don't be a Laura!' when dissuading someone from jumping into something when it was clearly the wrong thing to do. I've struggled with balancing 'thinking' and 'feeling' for the past few years, and have unfortunately been a train wreck where my love life is concerned. There has been physical abuse, cheating, playing games and 'settling', just to name a few. After my last relationship, I made another bad decision against my friends' advice, and as usual, it was too late when I realised that I was perpetuating my tendencies instead of trying to better myself and learn from past mistakes.
Valentine's Day is, obviously, something that most singles dread, and which causes most couples to feel pressure regarding the gifting, surprises, etc. But it's also a cause for celebration, namely celebrating your relationship with the person who you will (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with. This year, I'm marking February 14th as a commitment to myself to become self-actualised and attain my goals - after all, the one person I am definitely going to spend the rest of my life with is me. So this Saturday will be spent working hard, then chilling out with a few of my favourite girlfriends while we bake the most yummy dessert we can find!
I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable with sharing the details of my past relationships, but I know one thing I've learned for sure: my happiness and well-being are my top priority, regardless of my relationship status. I believe a relationship requires nurturing and sensitivity to the other person on the part of both individuals for it to develop into true love, and I do hope that one day, I can experience this for myself.
Do you feel the same way?